home alone

Gordon's in Montreal. Working terribly long days and not getting to enjoy a beautiful city.

I'm here. By myself (this is where you feel at least a twinge of compassion).

He's not the loudest person, but this place seems awfully quiet without him.

No humming from the den (which happens when he programs).
No "They have surrendered, my liege." (which is said by some guy on the computer when he's playing Medieval War Something-or-Other).
And, no one to help me procrastinate from doing school work. I've had to do that all on my own. (You'll all be quite relieved to know that I'm equally as gifted at solo and collaborative procrastination).

(Come home soon, okay?)

worship conversation

I have been uncomfortable with the "Jesus is my boyfriend" variety of worship songs for a long time.

I have had a particular gripe with "Let my words be few" by Martin Smith...If I were to use it, we would sing the following:

"You are God in heaven
And here I am on earth
So I'll let my words be few

(silence)

I'll stand in awe of You
I'll stand in awe of You"

Well, we sang it AGAIN yesterday in church. (That's two weeks in a row!)

And I sang the above words and then spent the rest of the song confessing my contempt and disdain for these songs, searching for some sort of missed understanding, wondering if I'm just not as 'intimate' in my 'personal relationship with Jesus', and finally realizing that I'm not so sure I have a 'personal relationship with Jesus' but that I relate to Jesus as an individual, yes, but as an individual who has been grafted into the family of God. I'm an "I" in the midst of a family that stretches through centuries and across continents...and I like the "we"-ness of that too!

Well, John Stackhousehas blogged about the same experience. And with quite a lot of response. (I'm the ajt in the comments!)

what's in a name...

Originally, this blog began when I was between jobs, between living accommodations and between relational statuses. (how does one pluralize "status"?) All was transition and in between seemed like the most appropriate name for my new blog. What I realized quite quickly is that we're always in between. I think I already knew this, but I re-learned it as I moved from dating to engaged to married; from a church job to the Regent job; from a temporary apartment to my brother & sister-in-law's place to Gordon & my condo. With all of these three major transitions "finished" I still found myself in between.

This past month has had a lot of that "in between-ness" to it as well. Time off that also had a list of things I hoped to accomplish (and mostly didn't). Waiting with my in-laws for visas that seemingly wouldn't come...three weeks of sitting on packed suitcases. They definitely were living in the in between. (The visas did come and they are off on grand adventure!) I went to Calgary for a week and visited family and friends there and found that this place I come from still has a place for me even though I don't feel so much that I belong there anymore. Regent life has resumed and I find myself walking the line between student and staff, fitting into neither category very neatly. I'm in between. New students have arrived and there is this strange sense of unfamiliarity and yet the knowledge that, within a very short time, they will be very much a part of things, offering us gifts of themselves that we've yet to discover. And with the return to the Regent community there are all sorts of joys and sorrows that are poignant reminders that in a cosmic sense we are living in the in between, the kingdom has already come, but not yet in full. We are rejoicing over the birth of twin girls to our dear friends Ben & Nickaela. We are gently welcoming back two faculty members who, last fall, were not able to work due to a stroke and a severe depression. But we are also reeling at the news of a cancer diagnosis given to an emeritus faculty member who just spent the summer with us and to the tragic death of a couple's baby boy the week before his due date. I cannot tell you how much this last item has shaken us. God's hand is hard to trace here, except in the support that I have seen their community fill in to give them.

We are in between great joy and deep distress.

We are in between glimpses of a kingdom and signs of the brokenness of a fallen creation.

For now, it would seem that in between is where we live.

one of my favourite human beings...

Madeleine L'Engle died on Thursday.

From the NY Times article (linked above)
“Why does anybody tell a story?” Ms. L’Engle once asked, even though she knew the answer.

“It does indeed have something to do with faith,” she said, “faith that the universe has meaning, that our little human lives are not irrelevant, that what we choose or say or do matters, matters cosmically.”

Friday Five: Labour Day weekend edition

1. Share a highlight from this summer. (If you please, don't just say "our vacation to the Canadian Rockies." Give us a little detail or image. Help us live vicariously through you!)

We DID go to Banff & Lake Louise while we were in Calgary for a week visiting my family, but I promise that I'll pick another favourite.

2. Are you glad to see this summer end? Why or why not?


3. Name one or two things you're looking forward to this fall.

TWO classes in one semester. Haven't done this during my entire 5 years of working on my Masters degree. Makes me believe I might actually finish someday.

I'm also looking forward to year three in a job I'm enjoying...and that I finally feel like I have a handle on. It would seem that if the first year was focused on survival, the second was focused on development and I think this year might allow for a little experimentation!

4. Do you have any special preparations or activities to mark the transition from one season to another? (Cleaning of house, putting away summer clothes, one last trip to the beach)

Ooh. Not anything that I can put my finger on except maybe that there are a few "summer meals" that we only eat in the summer. (One being the Thai Chicken Salad) I was thinking I'd make it this weekend...and truly, that could be the last time til next year. Sad. Then again, I'm looking forward to soups and hearty fallish meals too.

5. I'll know that fall is really here when I buy school supplies.

my August life

Well, I'm one week into my holiday time and I'm pleased to say that I have accomplished very little.

Oh, I packed up the hutch, moved it into the den where it awaits moving to its new home in storage. Tuesday the piano movers brought my mom's piano from my brother's house. (yay!) So I've played quite a bit, worked on a few hymns, a couple of Clementi sonatas, and lots of Bach.

I've managed to kill my thai basil plant and I think one other flowering plant is done too. Not going to post pictures of my dead plants. Maybe I'll stick to geraniums from now on.

Still here...22 down, 3 to go

And I know you're dying to know how my little balcony garden is coming along....It's done remarkably well. The geraniums are especially lovely - and so hard to mess up. I think that's why they're my favourite.

I've got 3 more chapels - Bruce Milne, David Gill and John Vissers. Yesterday was Lauren Winner. And did not disappoint. Tonight is her lecture: Autobiography of a Bookworm: Notes from My Reading Life. Looking forward to it.

Meanwhile, working on getting the piano moved into our place...I'll keep you posted.

Still writing up a small storm. Did another one on Monday. And it's one of those that I immediately love.

Have to figure out what I need to do for Tenth as I'm leading worship this weekend and am kind of in the dark on how things work there. Oh dear. It's already Wednesday, isn't it.

Okay. Bask in that garden photo once more before you close this window. :)

"Reunited and it feels so good..."

Skookumchuck has returned to Crowley Drive and it would appear that all is well with the world.

I intended to be very cold to the people who kept her in that awful place for almost three weeks, but then it was a different guy and he was very nice to me and said nice things like, "I hope we don't see you in here for a long time..."

And I lost my nerve.

It helped that I was holding a piece of paper that said they had put a $1200 part into my macbook. (Odd, a NEW macbook isn't much more) Also, he assured me that apple has had no end of trouble with the first round of logic boards from the early macbooks...and that the replacement part is better than the one I originally had.

I think they have a handbook.

1. Make sure a different person handles pick up than drop off.
2. Say nice things.
3. Be sure they see how much they aren't having to pay for.

Anyway, she's back. I'm happy. And, I even splurged and bought a new backpack-style computer bag yesterday as the old one was giving me shoulder woes. Think of it as an RV for Skookumchuck...and she's going on the road!

12th day

I am starting into my 12th day without Skookumchuck.

(big breath)

Skookumchuck is my MacBook. And last Sunday he didn't feel very well when he woke up...in fact he never really woke up at all. He's been in the hospital since Tuesday (blasted long weekend...) The worst part is that I don't even think they've examined him yet. Might have to call again today and beg.

Meanwhile, my worship maps have typos, I'm starting to automatically right-click, and generally, my 'coolness' factor has taken a dip.

Thankfully, I have Applecare.

Friday Five: Hasty Edition

Today, what are you:

1. Wearing - short-sleeved white cotton blouse, black cropped pants, little black flats and multi-coloured bead bracelet

2. Reading - trying to write notes on "Weeds Among the Wheat" for my spring school class...but lately at night I'm sneaking in a chapter or at least a few pages of Elizabeth Moon's THE SPEED OF DARK which is excellent! (google it, I can't remember the link code and I'm too lazy to look it up...it's Friday!)

3. Eating - drinking a hot chocolate. Which is weird being that it's been hot hot hot and very stuffy in my office lately. But my nice friend lent me a fan and it's actually quite chilly in here today.

4. Doing - well, technically I'm procrastinating writing notes for my class, but we could think of it as a little "break"...

5. Pondering - what dishes Gordon and I should order when we go out for chinese food tonight...mmm...yummy.

Summer School: week one

Well, having recovered from the crazy journey to California, I'm now into the whirlwind that is Regent Summer School. It is amazing as students come from far and wide, young and old, first timers and hundredth timers. Daily chapels, at least 3 evening public lectures a week and many other lunchtime and weekend opportunities. (from round table discussions to kayaking in Deep Cove!)

I'm not taking a class until weeks 3 & 4 so these first two weeks should give me enough time to finish up my paper for the Spiritual Discernment class of Spring School. However, my mac died on Sunday so I'll take it into the mac doctor this morning...not great timing. All I can say is, "I love applecare."

So my world is a little jumbled by use of Gordon's PC at home & the usually unused PC on my desk at work. Strange machines. But I'm also enjoying (?) the break from constant email checking, and a little reprieve from facebook.

I'm off. To drop off the dear little computer, and then to head to Regent - to meet up with Jim & Rita Houston who are reading and speaking in chapel today. I love my job!

the tale of three cities...

So I've been all excited for the past few weeks about a sudden opportunity to go to Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena for a Colloquium with participants who are responsible for planning worship services in various seminaries around the US. I'm honoured, excited, and full of anticipation for what is now tomorrow's conversation.

Now, back up a few steps with me.

I'm not the smartest kid on the block, but I'm not exactly stupid either. I like making connections, extrapolating information or themes into other situations, etc.

My whole family has a range of passport related stories to tell.

Just this last week I printed out the forms from the internet so that Gordon and I could apply now, when we're not in any rush to get them, etc. (had that very conversation this past week). This also means that when I printed out my itinerary and various other documents for this trip, I had to separate them from the passport application sheets on the printer.

But it was not until 2 hours before my flight this morning, standing in the Vancouver Int'l Airport with Gordon that I realized I would need a passport to fly to California today.

Not the brightest bulb.

(Meanwhile, you must imagine the mixture of disappointment, embarrassment, shock, etc that was my heart. Gordon was SO calm and supportive - it was amazing.)

So, in the end, I drove to Seattle (read: 1 hour spent trying to get through the border line-up), got to Sea-Tac (read: stood in a 1 hour line-up to speak to a United rep), went through security (read; amazingly quick and painless...LESS invasive than Canadian airports I've gone through recently), sat and watched the folks with tickets board the plane I really wanted to get on (read: sat and watched grumpy stand-by passengers bug the nice lady at the counter, knowing that there were many folks trying to get to LAX this afternoon, including a family of 6, and then the clouds parted and she CALLED MY NAME and I was the VERY LAST PERSON to get on that plane!)

Greetings from the Westin in Pasadena. Lovely. Very long day.

Time for sleep.

The moral of the story, is that you should put 2 and 2 together...it's most helpful for navigating between three cities.

a highlight & a lowlight

Did you used to start youth group or Sunday school classes with this?

Well mine were pretty easy for today.

I bought strawberries from the farm where they were grown today. If I had time, I might have picked my own, but I decided that the ones they had picked for me would suffice.

Audrey, (and any other Californians reading this) your strawberries are styrofoam in comparison.

I had to put them in the trunk so that I wouldn't eat them the whole way home.

The lowlight?

When I was moving things around in the fridge when I got home, I dislodged the last beer & cider from their resting place only to watch them fall to the ceramic tile floor. (read: SMASH!) Of course, I might have caught them, but my hands were full of the precious strawberries.

The best part of the lowlight? The flowing cider/beer puddle reached my computer bag...the computer's fine, but the bag now smells like a dirty old drunk.

I think I'll drown my sorrows in another strawberry.

Friday Five: Books, books, books

1. Fiction what kind, detective novels, historical stuff, thrillers, romance????
Hhmm. Mainstream literary fiction is probably my first choice, but my husband has recently gotten me onto some historical fantasy & a few science fiction....to my great surprise.

2. When you get a really good book do you read it all in one chunk or savour it slowly?
Depends. If it's long I dive right in. If it's short, I read slowly and just once in awhile.

3. Is there a book you keep returning to and why?
The duo by Madeleine L'Engle (written years & years apart) The Small Rain and The Severed Wasp. Because it is such a good story - with real characters and real life awful situations with real redemption and without everything being tied in neat little packages.

4. Apart from the Bible which non-fiction book has influenced you the most?
Ooh. I don't think I can pick just one. But my top few would have to be Orthodoxy (Chesterton), Mere Christianity (Lewis), Pilgrim Souls (an anthology of conversion/spiritual journey narratives) and... I'm sure there have been others, but those are what stands out.

5. Describe a perfect place to read. ( could be anywhere!!!)

Beach - not on a hot day, but warm enough that you're comfortable.

In a muskoka chair on a deck or porch...as long as it's big enough to bring your legs up without knocking your coffee/drink off the arm. :)

Bed. :)

I look like Jack Nicholson?

Friday Five: Getaway Island Edition...

Today's Friday Five is about a real or imagined getaway...ooh, I can do this!

Describe your location, in general or specific terms: somewhere quiet, with good restaurants nearby, and hopefully a body of water in some sort of close proximity.

and....

1) What book(s) will you bring?
Hmmm...well, I think if I were to go right now, it would include my two textbooks from my last class. I know that sounds like taking WORK on vacation, but really it is that I'd like to spend some time reading them S-L-O-W-L-Y rather than in the usual "must get this done" fashion that a deadline can result in.

And then there would be a novel or two...perhaps I'd finally read That Hideous Strength by C.S. Lewis. Have read the first two in the trilogy over the past few months, but haven't had a chance to finish. And then sometimes a holiday is a nice chance to re-read an old favourite, so perhaps I'd take along the Catherine Fox novels. (Do you folks know about these?!?! Oh my, you really must try to get your hands on them...all about theological college, internships and such...but with such real and flawed human beings at the centre each story)

2) What music accompanies you?
Wow. A concoction of Paul Simon, Wailin' Jennys, Elgar, Bach and James Taylor. With a dash of some friends of mine - it seems a lot of what I'm listening to now is people I know.

3) What essentials of everyday living must you take (as in the health and beauty aids aisle variety)?
After sun lotion. Shampoo, razor, a couple of make-up essentials.

4) What technological gadgets if any, will you take with you or do you leave it all behind?
Laptop. Not for WORK, but for research...ie. local restaurants, reviews, park trails, etc etc. Not to mention music-playing!

5) What culinary delights will you partake in while there?
Hmmm. Yummy breakfasts that happen a lot later than usual. Snacky sort of lunches that you can eat sitting outside or pack and take along on whatever the day's adventure is. And dinner made by someone who experiments with culinary delights for a living!

As a bonus question, what makes for a perfect day on vacation for you?
Easy. Sleep til you wake up. Coffee on a porch/deck/whatever with a book in hand - and maybe a crossword. Breakfast eventually. A few hours at the beach/going for a walk/discovering whatever is around. Back to the room to relax, shower and primp. Dinner out. Bed. Ahhhh.

Last chapel of Spring School

Yep. It's the end of week four of Spring School. And I'm hours away from being finished another season of my job. (sigh)

Three weeks from Monday the season of Summer School will be upon us and life will pick up its pace once again. Daily chapels for five weeks. Which can sound daunting, but then you start reading your email - the ones about confirmed speakers - and you get a little excited: Maxine Hancock, John Stackhouse, Bruce Waltke, J.I. Packer, Chris Hall, etc. And then there are a couple of folks on the "not yet confirmed" list that make my heart bounce a little including the author of several books I've loved. More on that to come.

Meanwhile, for the past two weeks I have had a Wednesday morning 'date' with a friend who hasn't been over to our place yet. The plan was for her to drop her kids off at school (which is closeby) and then to come over and if it was nice, we'd go for a walk. Well, the first week the traffic gods were angry and there were major accidents in strategic spots, so she called (from the midst of the traffic hell) and said she'd never make it before I needed to leave to school. So we re-booked. But of course, it was almost the time of her arrival when she called and so I'd spent a bit tidying up, putting things away that we'd tend to leave out when it's just us, but that suddenly when 'company' is coming seem to be infringing on your decor.

Yesterday was our 're-book'. Cleaned from 8 til 9 when I realized that this friend would NEVER be half and hour late without calling. So I sat down and checked my email - sure enough, there was a note saying that things were crazy and could we re-book.

Now, I'd really like to actually see this friend, but I'm wondering if she might threaten a visit for a few more weeks, as our place has never looked so consistently tidy. :)

That is my only cleaning secret: have people over.

a smattering of things...

First of all. I got to see Audrey. (see bloglist)




Secondly, we hung out with Santosh and his family (also see bloglist) which enabled this little glimpse into the distant future...gotta love it. Had fun strolling the seawall and checking out two parks - poor Adam had been waiting all afternoon for us to come so he could hit the park! Nice to catch up with Santosh in person for once...




And finally, the picture you've been waiting for...the first GERANIUMS of the summer!

week 3 of spring school

Well...I guess I'm settling into the rhythm of posting once a week. It's not intentional, but there you have it.

This week is a bit nuts as I'm in class every afternoon for 3 hours. It's amazing how this can disrupt normal life. :) But it is a lovely disruption. The class is called "Spiritual Discernment" and it is being taught by fellow Christian & Missionary Alliance'er Gordon T. Smith.

More to come as a result of this class I'm sure, but for now let me tease you with his main two questions. (which must be asked TOGETHER)

1. What do you think Jesus is saying to you at this point in your life?
2. How do you know it's Jesus? (what are the indicators that lead to some degree of confidence?)

Wow. I have to admit that I'm often very uncomfortable when the first question is asked or answered, but now I realize that it is because the second question is usually neglected.

Thoughts?

Middle of the week...

This week has gone by slow and fast all at the same time.

Monday the country paused to celebrate Queen Victoria, but spring school continued, so there was chapel. Marva Dawn spoke and she was excellent. I think I've heard her before, but this time I won't forget hearing her. She began her talk with a sentence something like this: "Well, since I gave Andrea my text, I changed my mind." (read: mild panic as I TOTALLY dwelt on her ideas of dark and light...) Thankfully, she didn't change direction, she just went one step further. So it worked really well as I dwelt in several psalms and then she went on to speak from John 1 about the light coming into the darkness and the darkness not being able to overcome it. (after a brief heart attack, all was well)

Yesterday I had my second session with my little opera composers. They're hilarious. We've written five songs now, one more to go. So now it's a matter of getting the music into my finale program and then trying to garage band some sort of practice cd for them. I think on at least one of the songs, we figured out we could use xylophones and some hand drums. (giving 7 and 8 yr olds accompanying duties...oh yeah!)

Today is a Regent office day. The morning to work on upcoming chapels and the afternoon spent in meetings. I'll use my summer UPass for the first time (just got it last week...) which is lovely as it cost me $50 again to fill up on Monday. Crazy. (Last July we both used transit all month and we didn't fill up in the entire month...that's looking like a great plan!)

This weekend my friend Rochelle is getting married ... and while I'm excited for the wedding and all its festivities, I'm REALLY excited about two friends who are travelling to Vancouver to be her for it. Audrey (of bloglist fame) and Margo (my doctor friend having many adventures in the Bronx). Can't wait!